Bride diaries: Quick tips on writing your wedding vows part 1

Almost two weeks ago, our good friend/ninong Dennis Sy posted Bojo’s wedding vow to kick off his new blog series on great weddings vows by real men (link here: “Wedding Vows“). The next week I met a bride-to-be and gave her a small tip on weddings and wedding vows. After that chance meeting, my friend and makeup artist Hermie (check out her website Bridal Palette) bugged me to post my vows because I apparently promised I would (darn it, she remembered!). So to keep this blog from being too narcissistic, I’m sharing a few tips which I kept in mind when I wrote my wedding vows:

1. Wedding vows can turn a good wedding into a great wedding. Because the point of a wedding is the ceremony, not the reception. If you have a great ceremony, people will naturally be in a celebratory mood during the reception. Your wedding becomes unique primarily when you allow your guests into your story, the commitment you’re making to each other, and who you are individually. The details (colors, flowers, and all other trappings) are only secondary, and really, are just external. Ever watch wedding same-day edits by videographers? Compare an SDE with unique vows and an SDE with the usual vows—don’t you feel you get to know a little more about the couple and their story when they promise to learn to cook, because bride grew up afraid of opening a gas stove? Or groom says he was such a silly man for letting her go once and he’ll never make that mistake again?
2. Don’t be pressured to perform. While it does affect your guests, they are not your audience. They are your witnesses. Your wedding vows are for your future spouse. It is your opportunity to publicly thank and honor them in front of those who matter to you both. It is the sacred time during the wedding to commit yourself out loud to your future spouse. There’s no need to feel pressured to make guests laugh at your jokes. A public declaration of love  and commitment in front of your family and friends give your sentiments, gratitude, and promises more weight than a tagged shout-out on Facebook or Twitter.
3. There’s really no standard for length. To each his own, because what matters is you were able to say what you wanted to say. Some can say it concisely but with impact, while some have much to say because they feel they haven’t said enough during the course of their relationship. Of course ten minutes is probably too long to be talking, or telling the story starting when you first saw him up until the day before your wedding. If you are considering that a lengthy vow might bore your guests, perhaps 3-5 minutes is a good average, because it’ll be duplicated in two as your spouse will share his/her vows too.

Photo from katrinalee.wordpress.com

I’ll continue my two cents worth on wedding vows in my next blog. For now, as a fulfillment of my promise to Hermie, here’s my wedding vows:

Bojo, it was the first time you initiated a visit to my dad when I knew you were the man I could trust for a lifetime. I knew then that you were raised well, to be able to constantly pay respects to a man you never knew. Today in front of our family, and friends, I honor you for mustering up the courage to lead me, for always choosing to love me unconditionally and generously, and for endlessly encouraging me to dream larger than before.

Bojo, your love is steadfast; it is constant. When I am at my worst, you have always chosen to hold on to me, and that is human love I have never known until you. William Shakespeare wrote, “love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.” You, my love, are its embodiment.

You have brought me deep joy and contentment, and made life mostly silly, and sometimes crazy. But always, always a beauty and a delight.

I have always admired your undeniable love for Jesus and unadulterated passion, even when we were just friends and college students. I know that because you love Jesus first and above all, we can boldly take this leap together and make it.

Thank you for taking care of me and protecting me. And thank you for always allowing me to grow as an individual and cultivate my own dreams.

I stand before you today knowing that it is God’s will for me to marry you, and I want every part of that plan. It is because of God’s goodness, sovereignty, and mercies, that we can have this blessed beginning.

I commit to you and our God to love you unconditionally, to be faithful to you, and to be an encouraging helpmate. I promise to submit to your leadership as I submit to God. I promise to be your partner and your sou chef; your personal editor and TV series buddy. I commit to serve you and alongside you, and to always help you live a life that honors our God. Wherever you go, I will go. Because you are now my home.

I bind myself to you today, as your wife, lover, and best friend as long as we shall live. I promise to rid myself of expectations and be filled with appreciation. I promise to sync my steps with yours and not be ahead of you.

Today is our memorial stone of faith. I am overjoyed that we are embarking on a new journey as one. It will always be a privilege to be called your wife.

I adore you, Bojo Bonifacio. And I am yours forever.

***

Movie in my mind: Revenge season 1 episode 4

Currently reading: “House of the Spirits” by Isabel Allende

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~ by littlegirl on December 2, 2011.