No fear

The past few days, or perhaps even weeks or month, I’ve carried around the haunting feeling of anxiety. I have always claimed to be the kind of person that is in “two places at one time,” that is to say, I’m never fully in the present because one foot is always somewhere in the future I imagine or dream of. I can be enjoying a good conversation with a friend while my mind is off skipping about into mental landscapes of what I hope to become and who I hope to be. Blame it on my fifth theme, as defined by the book Strengths Finder 2.0 by Tom Rath, of being futuristic. It means (as perhaps you can already tell), that I enjoy and always think of the future, and more importantly, decide and define my present based on what I envision.

This “anxiety” I’ve been experiencing, more aptly, entertaining, has occupied the recesses of my mind more than it should have. It has caused me to blabber silly things and think even sillier things–which were all drenched in fear. Before hitting adulthood, I don’t remember being afraid of what was coming. It was only when I became a tax-paying individual when fear slowly started creeping in. Only one scripture rang in my head continuously as I wrestled with fear:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

1 John 4:18 ESV

This morning I woke up reminded (read: sermoned) that my fears were a useless mental and emotional exercise, since there was really nothing to be afraid of because perfect love triumphs over, trumps, and kicks fear’s as*. Why should we be anxious that our hopes and dreams are far too great for He who loves to accomplish? Being unsure of a secure (and I believe, even fabulous) future is tantamount to doubting a billionaire father’s intent and ability to provide for his children. Moreover, conjuring up ways to realize our hopes and dreams with our own strength, ability, and connections, isn’t just futile (we all know that, don’t we?), it’s down right insulting and pointless. How would Donald Trump feel if Ivanka Trump tried making her own fortune, because “the truth is, Daddy, your oodles and oodles of money just might be too little for my heart’s desires.” Right.

Whether it’s a healthy family, a fully-owned space, home, or car, a thriving business, luxurious vacations, or even a stylish closet (edited with wisdom, perhaps) it was the perfect Lover’s idea for us to have it, and yes, He wants us to have it more than we do. He really does.

-RC

~ by littlegirl on January 25, 2010.