Bride diaries: Quick tips on writing your wedding vows part 1

Almost two weeks ago, our good friend/ninong Dennis Sy posted Bojo’s wedding vow to kick off his new blog series on great weddings vows by real men (link here: “Wedding Vows“). The next week I met a bride-to-be and gave her a small tip on weddings and wedding vows. After that chance meeting, my friend and makeup artist Hermie (check out her website Bridal Palette) bugged me to post my vows because I apparently promised I would (darn it, she remembered!). So to keep this blog from being too narcissistic, I’m sharing a few tips which I kept in mind when I wrote my wedding vows:

1. Wedding vows can turn a good wedding into a great wedding. Because the point of a wedding is the ceremony, not the reception. If you have a great ceremony, people will naturally be in a celebratory mood during the reception. Your wedding becomes unique primarily when you allow your guests into your story, the commitment you’re making to each other, and who you are individually. The details (colors, flowers, and all other trappings) are only secondary, and really, are just external. Ever watch wedding same-day edits by videographers? Compare an SDE with unique vows and an SDE with the usual vows—don’t you feel you get to know a little more about the couple and their story when they promise to learn to cook, because bride grew up afraid of opening a gas stove? Or groom says he was such a silly man for letting her go once and he’ll never make that mistake again?
2. Don’t be pressured to perform. While it does affect your guests, they are not your audience. They are your witnesses. Your wedding vows are for your future spouse. It is your opportunity to publicly thank and honor them in front of those who matter to you both. It is the sacred time during the wedding to commit yourself out loud to your future spouse. There’s no need to feel pressured to make guests laugh at your jokes. A public declaration of love  and commitment in front of your family and friends give your sentiments, gratitude, and promises more weight than a tagged shout-out on Facebook or Twitter.
3. There’s really no standard for length. To each his own, because what matters is you were able to say what you wanted to say. Some can say it concisely but with impact, while some have much to say because they feel they haven’t said enough during the course of their relationship. Of course ten minutes is probably too long to be talking, or telling the story starting when you first saw him up until the day before your wedding. If you are considering that a lengthy vow might bore your guests, perhaps 3-5 minutes is a good average, because it’ll be duplicated in two as your spouse will share his/her vows too.

Photo from katrinalee.wordpress.com

I’ll continue my two cents worth on wedding vows in my next blog. For now, as a fulfillment of my promise to Hermie, here’s my wedding vows:

Bojo, it was the first time you initiated a visit to my dad when I knew you were the man I could trust for a lifetime. I knew then that you were raised well, to be able to constantly pay respects to a man you never knew. Today in front of our family, and friends, I honor you for mustering up the courage to lead me, for always choosing to love me unconditionally and generously, and for endlessly encouraging me to dream larger than before.

Bojo, your love is steadfast; it is constant. When I am at my worst, you have always chosen to hold on to me, and that is human love I have never known until you. William Shakespeare wrote, “love is not love which alters when it alteration finds.” You, my love, are its embodiment.

You have brought me deep joy and contentment, and made life mostly silly, and sometimes crazy. But always, always a beauty and a delight.

I have always admired your undeniable love for Jesus and unadulterated passion, even when we were just friends and college students. I know that because you love Jesus first and above all, we can boldly take this leap together and make it.

Thank you for taking care of me and protecting me. And thank you for always allowing me to grow as an individual and cultivate my own dreams.

I stand before you today knowing that it is God’s will for me to marry you, and I want every part of that plan. It is because of God’s goodness, sovereignty, and mercies, that we can have this blessed beginning.

I commit to you and our God to love you unconditionally, to be faithful to you, and to be an encouraging helpmate. I promise to submit to your leadership as I submit to God. I promise to be your partner and your sou chef; your personal editor and TV series buddy. I commit to serve you and alongside you, and to always help you live a life that honors our God. Wherever you go, I will go. Because you are now my home.

I bind myself to you today, as your wife, lover, and best friend as long as we shall live. I promise to rid myself of expectations and be filled with appreciation. I promise to sync my steps with yours and not be ahead of you.

Today is our memorial stone of faith. I am overjoyed that we are embarking on a new journey as one. It will always be a privilege to be called your wife.

I adore you, Bojo Bonifacio. And I am yours forever.

***

Movie in my mind: Revenge season 1 episode 4

Currently reading: “House of the Spirits” by Isabel Allende

Bride diaries: Choosing your color motif

Hi everyone!

It’s been a wonderful one month and 17 days of marriage, and we’ve barely scratched the surface of the surface. Coming from a year and three months of wedding planning (and seven months of full-on wedding planning), I’ve got a full head of information, ideas, experiences, and tips for brides and I-will-be-a-bride. I figured, what better way to share all this knowledge in my head (and my hard drive) than with a blog series? Here begins my series I’m entitling “Bride diaries”.

Every time I would compare notes with my fellow brides during planning, I always started with our color motif. While it’s definitely not the most important detail for everyone, it’s the detail most women are curious to know. The first question men always ask me is, “When is the wedding?” Most women start wedding small talk with, “So what are your colors?” Hello Mars and Venus.

But the reason I would start with the color motif was not because it was the most important detail for me, it was the preparation I made for the detail which I wanted to share and “pass on” to other brides/I-will-be-brides. To properly communicate my idea of colors to my then-fiance-now-husband, I laid out a fake entourage picture complete with a bride and groom, bridesmaids, ninangs (trans: female principal sponsors), flower girl, maid of honor, and one mother of the bride/groom. I put their photo against the actual garden of our venue to see how the colors would work (or not work) with it. (Of course hopefully, it would work because we had already paid down payments at this point!) Here is the photo:
 From L-R: Three principal sponsors in champagne, four bridesmaids in light gray short dresses with black details, one maid of honor in champagne gown with black detail, bride and groom, one mother of the bride/groom in rose, four principal sponsors in champagne. Front row: One flower girl in gray dress with black sash. All round bouquets a mix of blood red and fuchsia roses.

Why did I painstakingly layout our color motif? Because men are visual creatures. I realized I couldn’t explain to Bojo my idea of “light gray chiffon short dresses with black satin details for the bridesmaids and blood red and fuchsia rose bouquets and champagne gold satin dresses with black details for the principal sponsors.” Really? Even if I said light gray, black, and champagne, he probably wouldn’t have envisioned and understood it the way I would’ve wanted him to.

After laying out this photo, I simply flipped the laptop towards his direction and asked, “OK?” and he instantly answered, “OK!” That’s how you get things done, woman!

Here are photos of how the vision was realized at our wedding:

From L-R: Maid of Honor Eliza, bridesmaids Faye, Leanne, myself, Mau, and Char (Eliza, Leanne, Mau and Char in Nina Peña; All flowers by Cheryl Ching)

Quick tips for coming up with your color motif:

1. Consider your venue. Is it indoor or outdoor? If it’s indoor, be careful of throwing in more color to the venue with your motif since all your photos will have it as your backdrop. Think: red walls with a multicolor motif. That can overwhelm or look too messy. If it’s a stark white venue on the other hand, you might want to introduce color since it won’t just be your bridesmaid dresses, it’s most likely to appear in the decor and other details too. If it’s outdoor, is it a beach, garden, or a cityscape? Imagine what your colors will look like against your setting. I chose neutral “non-color colors” because I didn’t want to add to the colors of the gardens anymore. If you’re changing venues from your ceremony to your reception, you might also consider a color that works for both, whether it’s from the church to the reception venue or from shoreline ceremony to wooden pavilion.
2. Don’t forget your flowers. I couldn’t imagine my colors independently of my flowers because I figured in most photos, bridesmaids always have their flowers with them, which actually completes the look. When I thought of my “neutral” colors, I decided to bring in colors with the bouquet. It was important to me to use local flowers as a means of cost-cutting and promoting our economy so I also had a limited number of colors to choose from for my bouquets. Whether you’re going for bouquets or corsages (which I think are cute too!), imagine your entourage in their full ensemble and then all together. It can actually cost you more if you don’t plan ahead and think of your clothing color before flower colors, since many of the beautiful arrangements we see online or in magazines are imported flowers.
3. Prioritize your bridesmaids/MOH colors and work your way “out” when picking a color, since they’re the ones who are going to exemplify your wedding color motif best. Don’t be overwhelmed with the amount of people to assign a color to. Use your bridesmaids as the starting point then decide the secondary cast after, like your flower girls or secondary sponsors. Be sensitive also to colors which will complement your bridesmaids’ varied skin tones.
4. Remember your principal sponsors/ninangs. Many of them may be women of stature, baby colors will no longer be appropriate for them. Try to choose a color or fabric that works for most skin tones but also fabric that’s forgiving for any body shape.

Here are a few more photos to show how the other members of the bridal entourage realized the visual peg:

Our cute flower girl Gabbie Lo in her light gray tulle skirt dress with a satin black sash busily playing with her bouquet during the ceremony. We bought a peach rosette hair band to adorn her hair and keep the look from being too old or forlorn as some may deem the mix of light gray and black. Her white cardigan is keeping her from getting wet by the rain drops.

My mom Tess (right) chose a mauve shade for her gown by Pablo Cabahug, which he designed reminiscent of my bridal dress. My brother Ronan (left) wears a black and gray pinstripe suit jacket by Penshoppe with a black polo shirt and slim gray tie.

Hope that helps you! Till the next Bride diaries!

*All wedding photographs by Pat Dy

***

Currently reading: “One Day” by David Nicholls

Movie in my mind: Game of Thrones season 1 episode 8

I tied the knot

Hello friends. I just got married two weeks ago to the love of my life and because of the hoopla I’ve been through, I am inspired to blog about my experience as a bride plus tips.

Photograph by Pat Dy

Hope that helps brides-to-be and will-be-brides (as well as anyone else who might find the info useful). Please watch out for it!

He got down on both knees

(Hi, this is a long post with pictures )

I never planned on publishing a post on my engagement and I realize that the timing is probably overdue, but I decided to write it down to one, hold on to the memory (on another space), and two, give friends/family/anyone who might be (oddly) interested in how it happened, according to me. After all, his account is only half of the story.

My story starts at the beginning of 2010, just when it rolled in and something in my heart was decided: a new season was coming. To put it bluntly, I was ready to leap for the big M. This of course, was something I kept between myself and God; and since I am of the female species, that included one of my closest friends. Though I had opened that up to her, I made sure it was to someone who wouldn’t tell him this lest he be swayed or manipulated into diamond shopping. (I now know she really didn’t divulge.)

Come February while I was at Bangkok on an assignment, I had dreamt two consecutive nights of a proposal and woke up remembering only three things clearly on both nights: a proposal, near a body of water, my barkada (translated: group of friends). On the first night I got up so quickly and didn’t know what to make of it till I decided it was probably just absence making my heart fonder and my dreams wilder. After the second dream however, all I could utter was “Lord…?” You see, my clear dreams are usually not just recesses of my brain waves. Through the years I’ve come to realize that it is one of God’s ways to tell me something important. Of course I had no idea when it was going to happen, whether late or early in the year but I was so elated that I wanted to send my friend a text message. That was of course until I decided against it to save myself some buckaroos. Instead, I thanked God, wondered a little why he gave me a sneak peek, and then went about my day.

A month later, my friends had cooked up an idea to visit the beach and because I was not replying to their thread of messages, he asked me if we were joining our friends to the beach. “Hmmm, that’s fishy,” I thought. He’s not one to be excited about going to the beach unlike myself, who absolutely loves it. He just usually goes because of me, but, whatever. I wasn’t going to play “Are we there yet?” with God and him. I decided that I wasn’t going to torture myself with a guessing game and allow myself to enjoy the moment, because if I did, I might just be setting myself up for letdowns that was completely avoidable. (Ladies, spare yourselves please.)

Too close for comfort

Two weeks before our scheduled beach trip, I was killing time in a mall to avoid traffic when I had the brilliant idea of checking my ring size out of curiosity. I have never checked my ring size before because I always felt like “I had no right to” because I knew it wasn’t time. That day there was no over-thinking, just marching into a store to finally find out what my tiny ring size was. I sent my best friend a text saying I had finally found out what my ring size was to which she sarcastically answered, “So feeling mo ikakasal ka na?” (“So you think you’re getting married?”) To play it cool and coy, I replied, “No. I just wanted to know.” I didn’t want her to drop him any hints if he didn’t want to yet! (And I also didn’t tell her my ring size!)

Beach bums

I unwittingly went to the beach with my big happy barkada on March 31, 2010. I thought it was just another one of our trips to see the sea, relax, and pig out. Through the years we’ve visited Laiya, Batangas quite often just to do those three things. This time around however, we went on a Wednesday, right before the Holy Week break, and almost everyone had to file a leave to go. We usually go on a holiday, but again, whatever, I was going to the beach and I was more than happy to see the sun, sand, and surf. As I got in the car, I noticed there was an overflow of cameras plus they made me bring my video cam too, and I asked a friend “What’s with all the equipment?” He paused before answering, “I dunno, they just brought a lot of cameras.” (Or something as plain as that.) I thought, Alright. I want McDonald’s breakfast na.

My BFF since birth (OK, fine, since I was 7 years old) Eliza texted “everyone” to bring “nice clothes” because we were taking a group picture during the sun set. Since I didn’t want to be mocked by my very laid back friends, I just brought a nice top and denim shorts. While lazing around our cabana in the morning, I told them this after which all the girls’ mouths semi-dropped then snapped back into their guise with “Ohhh. Okay.” Clearly, they were very much into this group picture thing.

We went about our lazy beach trip and while swimming mid-afternoon, Eliza came up with a brilliant game! Who can stay in the water the longest. What am I, five?! Sure, everybody else seemed to want to play this strange game. (I start to realize what strange creatures I’ve surrounded myself with.) Because my skin was already itchy from the salt water, I instantly declared I was losing this game. Soon after Bojo said he was going to go ahead and wash up and when he was looking for our shared bag of toiletries on the shore and couldn’t find it, I got out of the water to help him when all the strange creatures frantically shouted: “BUT WAIT WHAT ABOUT OUR GAME!?!?!?!?!?“ A group of odd balls, I tell you. I was so shocked with all those bobbing heads in the sea water staring at me with a it’s-a-life-or-death situation look while dripping in my swimsuit and answered, “I’ll come back….” I swear, I wonder how these people got tax identification numbers.

When it was finally my turn to wash up, Eliza insisted that we go together. (Yes, in separate cubicles.) I was in a hurry because I didn’t want to be the cause of delay for the picture (which after we get over means we’re on our way to crispy pata in Laiya Grill, the real purpose of our trip) so I put on my clothes and didn’t bother to comb my semi-towel-dried hair.

Eliza: Mag suklay ka nga! (Please brush your hair!)

Me: Bakit ba? (Why?)

Eliza: Tuyuin mo yung buhok mo! Mukha kang basang sisiw. (Dry your hair! You look like a wet duckling!)

Me: No one will care!

Eliza shoves her towel up my face.

Since we were waiting, I combed my very wet hair (no I still didn’t dry it) to get her off my back.

The proposal

So after all that, here’s how Bojo proposed.

He invited me to take pictures against the sun set after I took a shower and our friend who owns a cool DSLR was already ready. I obliged and wanted him to hurry up. The rest of the gang are sure to get mad at us for causing crispy pata delay. We took pictures against the mountains. We took pictures against the sea. “Over there!” Bojo said, pointing to the farther part of the shoreline which was closer to our barakada‘s cabana. I answered, “Pareho lang naman yun! May tubig doon, may tubig dito. May sand doon! May sand dito! OK na!” (trans: It’s the same! There’s water here, there’s water there! There’s sand here, there’s sand there! This is OK!) I was shy and in a rush because I could feel our friends’ mockery of our kalandian (flirtatiousness) with photos.

Bojo pulled me anyway to that side and said, “I think I saw a bottle in the sand!”

Me: Are you hiding things in the sand for me to find?

Bojo: Look! Look!

I pull out an empty wine bottle with a rolled up letter inside. I sit down and start to read. By now I’m thinking, What date is it? Is it our anniversary? It’s only March. Is there an anniversary I don’t know about? I’m such a bad girlfriend! I have nothing prepared in return! Bad Ronna! Bad Ronna! He makes me stand up and we go back and forth about sitting and standing (I say, “No, no, no, no, no!”) until he finally gives up and lets me sit on the sand. I’m sure by now, Bojo was wondering ‘Why am I proposing to this hard-headed little girl again?’ I’m trying to hide from our friends by crouching for fear of their mockery (yes, I’ve used that word many times for them because believe me, we are great at this) of our cheesiness. I’m holding up the group photo and consequently, the crispy pata! We’ll never hear the end of this.

While reading, Bojo gets on his knees and sits on his feet then drops something into the wine bottle. *Clink* His eyes widen and he gasps. I gasp. Is that a….? I try to finish reading the letter and I see our other friend, Lourenz, in my periphery taking a video of everything. I’m hysterical. I try to gain composure, have poise, look like a lady. Instead I’m laughing and crying and rolling around the sand while I try to finish reading the letter and saying “No, no, no, no, no!” because I need a pause button to calm myself down. I put my face in my hands and cry. Bojo cries sheds a tear, then gets worried and asks, “Why are you crying?” I look up and laugh then ask,”Why are YOU crying?” From behind the camera, Lourenz whispers impatiently “Ask her already, man!” Bojo gets my right hand and asks with a nervous smile, “Will you marry me?” And all this hard-headed little girl can do is nod, then I hear the rest of the gang who’ve silently crept up behind me cheer.

The moment was ours and everything was still.

Bojo gently puts the ring on my right hand ring finger and I shout, “Other hand!!!!” Everyone laughs and he just shrugs and says, “Oops!” Now that’s more like us.

After Bojo and I catch our breath from laughing, I cry out “I’m in shoooooorts!!!” And Eliza angrily answers, “I TOLD you to bring a dress!” Thank goodness I got a manicure a few days before!

It was seemingly a close call for Bojo who, I found out after the proposal, bought my ring just two days before I decided to find out my ring size. I couldn’t help but cry when I realized he was proposing because just the day before the beach trip, I was praying long and hard about us in submission to God. I prayed, “If this isn’t what you want, I’ll let it go because I’d rather have what You want for me.” March 31, 2010 was one of the clearest and instant answered prayers I’ve experienced. It was a clear confirmation, of binding my life to this wonderfully silly man who loves God with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength. And I can’t wait till our lifetime of love and silly-ness begins in 29 days.

I’m blue, he’s green

Almost every time the topic of university comes up between Filipino acquaintances and my fiance and I, we get a funny look after we’ve disclosed which universities we are graduates of. I am a proud graduate of Ateneo de Manila University, while he is just as much a proud graduate of De La Salle University. (Yes, I wrote Ateneo without “The”. Shocker.) The rivalry between these universities is as tough, deep-seated, and serious as rivalries can get. Students and graduates of other schools take their respective sides, and even those who didn’t attend university. And as funny as it may sound, he and I could not escape from the rivalry either.

Our first ever fight as a couple was not because someone didn’t reply to a text, or because one of us got jealous, or even because someone forgot an important date or ditched the other. It was because one of us dissed the other’s school. One of us loved his/her school’s tradition and principles so much that it led him/her to let out a bad joke about the other’s school. One of us got caught up in school pride. One of us just couldn’t help it. And yes, that one was me.

It’s all good and well now—he gleefully uses this as an example for his preachings—but a few years and a rock later, we somehow managed to end up in this same predicament. Childish and silly as it may seem, to me it was sillier not to have graduated from it.

I realize, however, that we arrive right back where we “started” because just like when we were getting to know each other, we’re still two different people. He may have “crossed over” once or twice, like when he willfully drove me to right into the Eagles’ nest (or that must be him trying to score a point), or when he surprised me with the back-to-back championship T-shirt last year despite his loyalty (that must be him trying to score a point too, huh?).

No matter how many years we’ve been in a close relationship and have picked up on each other’s quirks and habits, he’s still him, the Filipino-by-heritage-but-born-in-America-and-grew-up-in-Nigeria boy who bounces to R&B and has somehow become part Chinese in the last three years; while I’m still the Filipina inside and out, who thrives on alternative rock and will take Japanese or Italian food over siomai any day. He still doesn’t like the taste of coffee while just a whiff of it can already pick up my mood.

Perhaps even when we live under one roof, sleep in one bed, share the same last name, and begin to grow tired of each other’s faces (not in the near future I hope), we’ll never be the same. One, yes. The same, no. We’ve already begun to look like each other to some (but being mistaken for his sister a couple of times is downright creepy), have been told we sound alike, and accused of being the male or female version of the other, but I foresee that just like the unchangeable academic blood running in our veins, we’ll always be two different people.

And that might just be the beauty of committing to another: there is always something to learn and always something different. He will never be entirely like me, and I like him. I’m always going to be blue and he’s always going to be green. But I can rest easy because beyond blood, our hearts beat the same.

-RC

Circa 2006, praying for our respective schools during youth service pre-getting together

On “The One”

During a “catch up” dinner last weekend with my small circle of college gal pals, I was asked (more like bombarded with) a number of questions relating to my current relationship status: engaged to be married. There was a mix of giddy girly questions, as anyone would expect from a group of ladies, and a sprinkle of serious, hard-hitting, real life questions. One of my friends asked me, “Are you scared?”. Much to their surprise, I candidly answered, “Of  course!” Naturally, I got the follow up questions of: “Are you scared that you’ll change your mind? You’re sure he’s ‘The One’, right?” due to my controversial answer.

This “The One” deal can be quiet a challenge to navigate through, let alone understand and accept for others. I don’t plan to present a case for or against it here, but simply share a little about what I’ve observed about it in relation to the big M. I answered my friends’ latter question with a more emphatic “Of course!” and after, added “but I don’t think finding ‘The One’ is enough to have a good marriage.”

The elusive search for ‘The One’ we see in TV series, movies, and sometimes even hear from our friends may seem well and good compared to getting in and out of relationships, but I don’t think finding Mr. Right or Ms. Right assures anyone of a strong, happy, and growing marriage. It’s not enough, simply because Mr. Right is still human, no matter how perfect his hair appears to be (trust me, that’s got to have some hair product somewhere!).

Perhaps my thoughts may not be considered valid since I haven’t taken the plunge just yet, but the reason I can even gather the courage to step onto the diving board is because marriage promises selflessness on paper. I assure he who wants to make me his better half, that I will make mistakes. In fact, I can easily, without qualms or difficulty, promise him tons. But I find the confidence to reveal all my imperfections to this “one” because this other imperfect individual will not have to work on a marriage with me simply for me. He will work on it because we’re not going to be the only ones in the boat.

I believe that a life-long commitment can work, last, and survive because the commitment is not only made by imperfect humans to other imperfect humans. Rather it is made along and to a perfect God who will be the relationship’s ultimate source of love, forgiveness, new beginnings, and strength. Without him, there is nowhere humans can draw supplies to last a lifetime commitment. And without him, there is no reason to.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

- 1 Corinthians 13:3-7 MSG

-RC

*Photo from The [Haute] Collective

Are you posting too much about yourself on the Internet?

I recently interviewed gaming and blogging guru Carlo Ople of New Media and Waukster Online about teenagers and the use of Internet. I pitched this feature to 2bU because I noticed the youth’s alarming poor social networking usage, posting personal information, photos, and even negative or critical opinions which are all viewed as “normal” these days. Status messages and tweets containing cuss words, comments berating personalities and personal friends, and sexual hints are considered as “acceptable” and surprisingly, even conventional! Young people have a false notion that the Internet and social networking is for “expression,” which defines no limit thus resulting in much negativity. Sadly, it is accepted as status quo.

The story “Are you posting too much about yourself on the Internet” was published last Saturday, June 26 in Philippine Daily Inquirer’s 2bU section. Read more about why the youth need to learn to use Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, and the like wisely, and when too much is too much online.

“TOO MUCH INFORMATION!” THAT’S what we shout when cautioning friends against sharing much more than what we need and want to know about them.

We’ve all read our share of “random” and “innocent” posts, status messages and photos of contacts broadcasting thoughts and information best kept to themselves.

Many of us have this incredible urge to check on friends and acquaintances on Facebook, and to use the updates to guess a contact’s state of mind and being. There are people who wear their heart on their sleeve—or their status message.

For the full article, please click here. Please do pardon the misspelled word in the article.

Whether you still consider yourself as part of the youth bracket or not, everyone can stand to learn a thing or two from Carlo’s advice. I hope you find something useful in this article!

-RC

Are you listening?

It was another usual day of work for me, writing articles, scheduling shoots, and editing pages, but at the end of the seemingly normal work day, I was still pondering about listening and learning after an incident. One of my other top five strengths as identified by the Strengths Finder 2.0 book by Tom Rath is that of being a “learner,” or one who always wants to learn anything and everything. My learner theme ranks even higher than my futuristic theme, (see related post “No fear“), and I already think the latter is exercised more often. My fiance would probably beg to differ, as he’s already so accustomed to (another way of saying possibly tired of!) my daily “I want to learn (fill in the blank)!”

We often hear the wise saying to never cease being a student, and that life is just a a big classroom, but can learning only be done through books and experience? I wish it were enough. Today I realized that listening goes hand-in-hand with learning. If we don’t know how to listen, we can miss out on the whole and learn only a percentage of the lesson.

A lot of today’s young people need to practice the skill of listening, especially since most of our past times involve our self-expression rather than absorption. Today, kids and young adults have the loudest voice in society in comparison to generations past, but it has hindered us from valuing the experiences of those before us. Because we are used to “being heard” and “having a say,” we have delusions of being right most, if not all the time. (Of course the “I’m unstoppable” teenager quality doesn’t help in this area at all.)

In conversations, are we mostly talking about ourselves and others or are we listening? Have we become so used to self-expression and voicing our opinions, that we have become unteachable? Do we feel, now that we’ve graduated and begun to earn salaries and pay taxes, that everything we think, say, and do is right because we are “adults?”

Learning entails listening and more often than not, it entails humbling oneself.

The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. – Proverbs 12:15

-RC

Sexy mama

I met Barni Alejandro during a previous interview for LOOK magazine. Back then, she was still developing The Sexy Chef’s new diet programs, which includes a post-pregnancy diet to get mothers’ pre-baby body back. A few months later, I interviewed Barni, Rachel Alejandro, and Nadine Tengco for a feature in the magazine which is out in LOOK magazine’s May/June 2010 issue with Camille Villar on the cover. The best part of the diet is it allow mothers to continue breastfeeding because the diet is malunggay-fortified (moringa), which aids in producing breast milk.

Here’s a link to the article which was reprinted last Friday, June 4, in Inquirer Lifestyle’s Fashion and Beauty issue.

Sexy mama

Return to your pre-pregnancy body with Sexy Chef’s latest program, Body After Baby—without giving up breastfeeding

SOME WOMEN HAVE ALL THE LUCK. Some belong to the rare breed of mothers who look like they never grew a belly.

But let’s face it: Most women struggle with pregnancy weight gain that takes years to lose completely, if at all. Many never regain their old figure.

Other women dread the expected trade-off of weight gain for a bundle of joy.

While the pains of childbearing are said to disappear once you behold your child for the first time, the weight unfortunately doesn’t go away so fast.

It is because of stories of frustrated mothers who try in vain to lose post-partum weight that the Sexy Chef duo, Rachel and Barni Alejandro, developed one of their three new programs for 2010, Body After Baby.

Photos by Jovel Lorenzo

-RC

Beauty line is fruit-juice based

I’ve been wanting to switch to an all-organic skincare ever since I began learning about the chemicals and toxins in regular skincare lines. Thankfully, I was assigned to interview Alain Thompson of Juice Beauty whom I was able to ask about making the big switch. Her advice? Stick to the product for at least 30 days, because the breakouts might mean your skin is just purging itself of the toxins it’s accumulated! I’m about two weeks into my switch, there are still some bumps (literally and figuratively!) but I do hope that the organic skincare works out. Got to think long term!

Not everything marked ‘organic’ is so. Juice Beauty’s Alaina Thompson spills insider secrets
WITH THE GREEN lifestyle’s increased popularity, it’s quite a surprise that there is only one law that regulates organic beauty products, the California Organic Product Act, which requires at least 70 percent organic content.

Despite the growing trend, which has made going green or being environmental the latest trend in lifestyle changes, Juice Beauty’s Global Marketing and Sales Manager Alaina Thompson reveals, organic beauty products are not tightly regulated.

“When someone calls a product ‘organic,’ most people believe it, and you would like to think that you could believe it; but unfortunately, it’s not always that authentic,” says Thompson.

Read the rest of the article here and visit Juice Beauty for more info on the brand.